SiD’s Sphere!!

as the comos exploded spurting out fountains of color, a crowd of around 100,000 people stood spellbound by the spectacular display of fireworks held annually at dreamworld this time of the year.

too bad i forgot my camera at home. theres no way i can describe in words the brilliance of the night. these have to be the best fireworks in karachi.

weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!
i love my new wings. now i want to fly away to neverland and never come back.

ammmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmii….could anythin have been more embarrassin than what happened today.
so sarim comes upto me and is like go ask omar khaliq to show u how he copies u. first i thought he was talkin abt rafia(who was wid me then), coz quite a few ppl in our class imitate her but then he was like ‘no..u, sidrat’.
we were already on our way to omar and comapny were so i went up to him and was like ‘i want to see u imitate me’. hehe. i was curious. i really thought there was nothing abt me that could be so wierd tobe copied. BIG MISTAKE!!
he didnt show me an imitation but was like ‘u cant stand still, see ure even moving right now’.
my first reaction, ‘no i am not’, and i shifted from one foot to the other. ’seeeeeeeeeee’, went everybody.
when i met uruba i told her what they just told me and she confirmed my fear…’yes u do…and its so funny, i was goin to tell u but then i forgot.’ she actually showed me how i do it and i was like ‘nooooooooooo, thats so embarrassing’. ‘and funny’, she added.
when i saw sarim next, i asked him to show what omar did and what he did was an exaggerated version of what uruba had just shown me. ‘when omar did it, it was so funny. it was exactly like how u dance..oops..stand’
if only the earth would crack open and swallow me in… how can i not know this.
i stood infront of the mirror and noticed myself. ok so i shift fro foot to foot, and sway occasionally….but is it that evident that everyone in the whole class notices except me. *yikes. i need to practice standing sraight now. ammmmii…mujhe kabhi kisi ne pehle bataya kyoon nahin.

btw, before i wrap up this post,lemme mention another peculiar habit i have . i cant look at ppl and talk to them at the same time. how difficult can it be to look a person in the eye and then speak to them. so why cant i do that. everytime, zia sits across the table from me talkin to me, he keeps askin me to look at him and talk but nooooooooooooo…id rather look at the plates and the sauces and the ppl around me than the person im talking to. i just cant keep my eyes fixed on a person when i know that his attention is on me as well.

do we have a psychologist in the house??

I got my post which got deleted. Now u know what i meant by the cia. :d

The bend in the path of my life had been visible for quite some time now; but all i expected to find around the corner was misery, resentment and a vacuum in my life. Today, when I am just about to take that turn, I am more optimistic. Toady I know what part I am supposed to play.
I realised(was made to realise) today that life is much more than what i percieved it to be. I now know, that life is an obligation. Whatever Allah has given me, he has given me so i can deliver it to the rest of humanity. Life isnt just about achieving your own selfish objectives, but life is about giving and not expecting anything in return. It is about only depending on Allah, and along the way your path will cross with those of an angel’s but you will have to realise that it is not teh angel that is helpin you, but Allah has sent the angel for us. And then it is upto to us to deliver to others what the angel gave us.
I have learnt today that negative emotions create negative energy which tilt the balance and have to be released in the form of negative behaviour by person. And it is only logical reasoning that Allah has endowed in every man that can override these forces of nature and prevent this vicious cycle.
Today has left me stronger and happier. Although i have been a self centered person all my life, I will not feel ashamed of it. This was a part of my learning process. And what I have learnt in these 2 days is more than I have learnt my entire life.
I can never, even if I wanted to, thankyou enough for all that you have given me; but I can carry on the legacy of these past 4 years and cherish them always, always.
Today, marks a beginnin of a new phase in both our lives. It will never be the same again. I will miss everything but I will never let me make it sad. I will not let you down and someday you will be very very proud of me. My prayers and my best wishes will always be with you, and even though we will gradually move apart, i will always be there for you. I used to think i’d never be able to make it without you, but I will. What you said today has indeed given me strength to go on, with or without you(I hated it everytime you used these words before, but now i see why u said them).
Thankyou for everything.

id on twa ntt oa dmi tthisb utiw illid ontl ike wh atsha ppen in gim notstro ngen oug htot a keall this fe ellik eimbe ingcheat edo utofmym o stprize dpo s ses sion.