SiD’s Sphere!!

And verily We have sent down for you revelations that make plain, and the example of those who passed away before you. An admonition unto those who ward off (evil). Allah is the Light of the heavens and the earth. The similitude of His light is as a niche wherein is a lamp. The lamp is in a glass. the glass is as it were a shining star. (The lamp is) kindled from a blessed tree, an olive neither of the east nor of the West, whose oil would almost glow forth (of itself) though no fire touched it. Light upon light, Allah guides unto His light whom He will. And Allah speaks to mankind in allegories, for Allah is knower of all things. (The lamp is found) in houses which Allah has allowed to be exalted and that His name shall be remembered therein. Therein do offer praise to Him at morn and evening men whom neither merchandise nor sale beguiles from rememberance of Allah and constancy in prayer and paying to the poor their due; who fear a day when hearts and eyeballs will be overturned; that Allah may reward them with the best of what they did, and increase reward for them of His bounty. Allah gives blessing without stint to whom He will. As for those who disbelieve, their deeds are as a mirage in a desert. The thirsty one supposes it to be water till he comes unto it and finds it naught, and finds, in the place thereof, Allah, Who pays him his due; and Allah is swift at reckoning.

Recently I have had huge faith issues. I used to wonder if the Quran truly is a divine revelation and wondered if what has been inculcated into me as a child really all is true. There was only one way my questions could be answered. The scripture itself.
I had tried going through an Urdu tafseer once but had stopped at page 2, coz i couldnt understand anything. The translation by Pickthall which I have now got my hands upon has been a true guidance.
Allah, I am sorry for ever doubting you. Once you start readin the Quran, you are overwhelmed by the verses which describe humans better than any psychologist, describe the celestial bodies better than any astronomer and gives guidlines which are very easy to follow but which we percieve to be difficult.
May Allah fill all our hearts with His light and show us the straight way.

1. The Glorious Koran- Pickthall
2. Bertrand Russel- Autobiography
3. Philosophical Essays- Bertrand Russel
4. Mein Kampf- Adolf Hitler
5. Seat of the Soul- Gary Zukav

1 and 2, i ve started and continuing simultaneously. 4, i started once in the middle of the semester, read a 100 pages then got too busy. 5, ive read once but the msg it contains is worth reading again.

hahahahaha… mein bhi bhool jaaon gi.

a weddin’s comin up in the family and ammi really needed to go to gulf to get her shopping done. she was tired of waiting for the car to be free so yesterday, she grabs hold of both me and zubair, stuffed us in a rickshaw with her and headed off.
why both of us?? coz she wants a guy to accomapny her all the way from northnazimabad to 3 talwar. but zubair put his foot down and said he wouldnt go around shopping. ‘then who’s goin to carry all the bags??’. ‘oh allright, i’ll go too. ‘, i gave in.
so there we were… the first part of the journey was bargaining witht he rickshaw wala. ammi said she d give a 100 and the rickshaw wala asked for 180. the deal was finally settled for 150. i felt sorry for the pooor guy. if i were in mom’s place i’d have given him 200 or maybe more. it wouldnt have made me any less richer but would make a huge difference to him.once we’re in i end up in ammi and zubair.by the end of the 45 min ride, my back and butt were both crying for mercy.
during the ride, i kept wishing i had a camera coz i saw a lot of things for the first time that ive never seen whenever i ve taken the same route by car. i saw the karachi that the metroblog ignores. once again, like the bus ride a few days karachi struck me as drowned in poverty and suffereing. the ‘pull’ at nazimabad right after mcdonalds, i ve taken it a million times before but for the first time yesterday, i saw a kachi abaadi under it. i saw the atrophying mud houses with the tin roofs and ppl sitting on charpoys on those roofs to beat the karachi heat. a moment before that, i was missin the comfort of my airconditioned car. after that i thanked God, that id be in it on my way back.
ususally, we take the zaibunnisa street and then the marriot road to reach 3 talwar, but the ricksha wala said, that rickshaws werent allowed to pass from that road, so we took some other route which zubair told me was the rainbow center. if that really was the famous rainbow center, i was surprised. the whole road was flooded with drainage water, and it was pretty evident that it had been there for a long time. the people went abt their business indiffernt to the rotting stench.
later, at 10 in the night, on my way home, the city of lights didnt look so luminous to me anymore.

tun tun tun tun tun tun tun tun tun tun tun

i’m hardly known to react. ppl who’ve known me for years think of me as an insensitive emotional beast, but thats coz ive always kept everything inside me. lately, ive changed. maybe an influence of wonderful friends that i am now surrounded by or maybe its time to let it all out.
yesterday someone heard me cry for the first time. i still wouldnt give anyone the pleasure of anyone seein me cry.
i had woken up with the conviction to grow cold but in the night i felt like a hypocrite, a bloodsucking parasite who just cant let go. i ignited myself again. i dont know if i should thankyou for breathing life into me again or not, but i do know i will kill myself again in a few more days. and the cycle will continue till ure no more there.

i’m hardly known to react. ppl who’ve known me for years think of me as an insensitive emotional beast, but thats coz ive always kept everything inside me. lately, ive changed. maybe an influence of wonderful friends that i am now surrounded by or maybe its time to let it all out.
yesterday someone heard me cry for the first time. i still wouldnt give anyone the pleasure of anyone seein me cry.
i had woken up with the conviction to grow cold but in the night i felt like a hypocrite, a bloodsucking parasite who just cant let go. i ignited myself again. i dont know if i should thankyou for breathing life into me again or not, but i do know i will kill myself again in a few more days. and the cycle will continue till ure no more there.

i’m hardly known to react. ppl who’ve known me for years think of me as an insensitive emotional beast, but thats coz ive always kept everything inside me. lately, ive changed. maybe an influence of wonderful friends that i am now surrounded by or maybe its time to let it all out.
yesterday someone heard me cry for the first time. i still wouldnt give anyone the pleasure of anyone seein me cry.
i had woken up with the conviction to grow cold but in the night i felt like a hypocrite, a bloodsucking parasite who just cant let go. i ignited myself again. i dont know if i should thankyou for breathing life into me again or not, but i do know i will kill myself again in a few more days. and the cycle will continue till ure no more there.

i’m hardly known to react. ppl who’ve known me for years think of me as an insensitive emotional beast, but thats coz ive always kept everything inside me. lately, ive changed. maybe an influence of wonderful friends that i am now surrounded by or maybe its time to let it all out.
yesterday someone heard me cry for the first time. i still wouldnt give anyone the pleasure of anyone seein me cry.
i had woken up with the conviction to grow cold but in the night i felt like a hypocrite, a bloodsucking parasite who just cant let go. i ignited myself again. i dont know if i should thankyou for breathing life into me again or not, but i do know i will kill myself again in a few more days. and the cycle will continue till ure no more there.

i’m hardly known to react. ppl who’ve known me for years think of me as an insensitive emotional beast, but thats coz ive always kept everything inside me. lately, ive changed. maybe an influence of wonderful friends that i am now surrounded by or maybe its time to let it all out.
yesterday someone heard me cry for the first time. i still wouldnt give anyone the pleasure of anyone seein me cry.
i had woken up with the conviction to grow cold but in the night i felt like a hypocrite, a bloodsucking parasite who just cant let go. i ignited myself again. i dont know if i should thankyou for breathing life into me again or not, but i do know i will kill myself again in a few more days. and the cycle will continue till ure no more there.