SiD’s Sphere!!

Analysis makes you aware. It doesn’t automatically make you stop acting in a way you’ve discovered to be self-destructive.

-Barney Livingston, from the book Doctors by Erich Segal

Even before I started out at IBA, I told Z that I had no intention of becoming like him. What like him is like is hard to describe but the best way of putting it would be that he had become run off the mill. Any fire, any originality that he had seemed to have been sucked out of him thanks to the long hours he put in at work. Even though he finds his work challenging, to me it seems a little meaningless. And if I tell this to him again today, he’ll think I’m crazy for dissing his job that pays so much along with all the perks. With no offense to anyone with those very attractive high paying jobs, I still don’t think I want to become another cog in the corporate wheel. That just isn’t for me. Nonetheless, I still have to do an internship to try the corporate world on for size. Selling soaps, diapers or buiscuits or arranging finance to manufacure the same is not my calling in life.

Another way I can put my business degree to good use is by helping out with the family business. That would even seem like the most appropriate thing to do to many. But there’s a problem. The family won’t approve. It’s unheard of. As a matter of fact, I’m not too enthusiastic about becoming an optician either. Dad did hint a few weeks ago that I get a degree in Optometry once I graduate from here, but I don’t think I’m up to it.

I’m pretty sure about what I want to do in life and I’m afraid business school isn’t a step in that direction. Given my very anti capitalistic views, the business school experience may even corrupt me. I guess it already has, to an extent.

It doesn’t take a genius to figure who the brothels in Pakistan really serve. Neither is it necessary for one to have read Fouzia Saeed’s Taboo to know what relationship these brothels can possibly have with the scourge more commonly known as politicans. It’s not a huge secret either why the red light area in Lahore and other countries is still thriving.

That puts Lal Masjid into a whole new perspective, deosn’t it? I don’t hold that the Ghazi brothers or their foot soldiers were entirely blameless. I really don’t know what their real motivation was. But i certainly can understand why the clients of a certain service provider may have been ticked off enough to kill or publicly humiliate clerics that had taken law into their hands by arresting Aunty Shamim while the above mentioned clients may have chosen to ignore the carnage in Karachi on May 12.

for a while i was misguided into thinking this was the worst possible time to be alive. there’s war raging in one part of the world while the other is drowned in poverty and disease. moral values continue to take a nose dive disguised as progress and liberalisation. almost every other person you know could be diagnosed as clinically depressed. government’s kill their own citizens to retain power… in short, nothing seems to be right.

but then i remembered world war II and the holocaust. the gas chambers and the concentration camps. nagasaki and hiroshima.
a couple o years later, the partition and the millions who died during it. manto’s toba tek singh still makes me shiver as does the diaries of anne frank. watching the last few year’s of mirza ghalib’s life during the war of independence in the movie hadn’t been a different experience.

but then, there was always someone to pull a nation or a race out of its plight. the mahatma, martin luther king, sir syed ahmed khan, nelson mandela. a true leader of the people. people who could be referred to as the present day prophets.

what made these people any different? what gave them the vision to change the world? how did they make millions heed to what they say? one possible could be their compassion. another that they took an initiative. that they didnt just choose to sit around on their asses but decided to do sthg abt it.

sadly though, i look around and cant see one soul who can pull anyone out of their plight. that is what makes the present time the worst possible time to be alive. coz i see no hope for the suffering.

Alan Johnston was freed today. The world is rejoicing. He says he wasn’t tortured but he went through mental torture because he was uncertain of his future. Millions around the world live without knowing if they’ll have their life back but no one cares. What makes Alan any different? Maybe the fact that he wasn’t born into that uncertainty.

I don’t mind the happiness of those who are glad to see Alan alive. But I do mind their indifference to the plight of millions others. I mind the unfair treatment meted out the less privileged. I mind the inequality.

If you believe that every life has equal value, it’s revolting to learn that some lives are seen as worth saving and others are not.

- Bill Gates

The Islamabad episode is another confusing event. I feel sorry- not for those trapped inside Lal Masjid; not for those that have trouped up outside the mosque; not for those who are running the shots. I feel sorry for us. The public that is not aware of the facts, cannot see the real picture, yet is compelled to take a side. Half the nation is furious at the government for attacking a religious sanctuary. The other half blames the ‘extremists’ for any blood that has been shed. The media claims it is the ‘talba aur talbat’ who have been brainwashed by the clerics. I believe that the whole nation has been brainwashed. How can anyone form an opinion or take sides when they don’t know what is really happening, when there are so many questions left unanswered. In an earlier post, I realized that ignorance is always mistaken for false sense of knowledge, because we like to believe we know everything.

I know that I am intelligent, because I know that I know nothing.

- Socrates

I was gratified to be able to answer promptly. I said I don’t know.

- Mark Twain

The floods wreck havoc in the south, and the north is fast turning into a battle ground. May God have mercy on this nation.

this used to be my sanctuary. my escape from the world when i needed to be alone. or to think. today, we had the bamboos taken off. i went upstairs a while ago. there was still debris on the floor. but then i shot a glance towards the open sky. it was beautiful. it had been ages since i’d looked at the wide exapanse of the night sky. in a few more days, when there’ll be no more clouds, i may even spot some stars. ive forgotten what they look like.

this used to be my sanctuary. my escape from the world when i needed to be alone. or to think. today, we had the bamboos taken off. i went upstairs a while ago. there was still debris on the floor. but then i shot a glance towards the open sky. it was beautiful. it had been ages since i’d looked at the wide exapanse of the night sky. in a few more days, when there’ll be no more clouds, i may even spot some stars. ive forgotten what they look like.

this used to be my sanctuary. my escape from the world when i needed to be alone. or to think. today, we had the bamboos taken off. i went upstairs a while ago. there was still debris on the floor. but then i shot a glance towards the open sky. it was beautiful. it had been ages since i’d looked at the wide exapanse of the night sky. in a few more days, when there’ll be no more clouds, i may even spot some stars. ive forgotten what they look like.

this used to be my sanctuary. my escape from the world when i needed to be alone. or to think. today, we had the bamboos taken off. i went upstairs a while ago. there was still debris on the floor. but then i shot a glance towards the open sky. it was beautiful. it had been ages since i’d looked at the wide exapanse of the night sky. in a few more days, when there’ll be no more clouds, i may even spot some stars. ive forgotten what they look like.

this used to be my sanctuary. my escape from the world when i needed to be alone. or to think. today, we had the bamboos taken off. i went upstairs a while ago. there was still debris on the floor. but then i shot a glance towards the open sky. it was beautiful. it had been ages since i’d looked at the wide exapanse of the night sky. in a few more days, when there’ll be no more clouds, i may even spot some stars. ive forgotten what they look like.