SiD’s Sphere!!

Take away my inhibitions
Take away my solitude
Fire me up with your resistance
Put me in the mood
Storm the walls around this prison
Leave the inmates
Free the guards
Deal me up another future
From some brand new deck of cards
Take the chip off of my shoulder
Smooth out all the lines
Take me out among the rustling pines
Till it shines

Like an echo down a canyon
Never coming back as clear
Lately I just judge the distance
Not the words I hear
I’ve been too long on these islands
I’ve been far too long alone
I’ve been too long without summer
In this winter home
Still if we can make the effort
If we take the time
Maybe we can leave this much behind
Till it shines

See the rich man lost and lonely
Watch him as he dines
Sitting there just
testing all the wines
Till it shines

Everyone my age this election season was excited about finally being able to go the polls and making a difference. And for once, I didn’t feel the least bit motivated to play my role in shaping this country’s fate. Does that make me an irresponsibly apathetic citizen?

Considering the difference my one vote would have made against the multiple votes some other individuals had the opportunity of casting, I don’t think I made the wrong decision. In addition to the futility of my vote, another factor that kept me away from the polling booths was the unwillingness to give my stamp of approval to any of the parties contesting the elections.

MQM, people voted for on the pretext that they were doing a lot for the city. Somehow, that don’t impress me much. It’s their job. They haven’t done something out of the ordinary. Let’s not forget that Naimatullah Khan was just as competent a City Nazim as Mustafa Kamal. And if development in the city is still your criteria, you go to Lahore, and you’ll see that Q League has a done a lot more for that city. You don’t see a lot of Lahoris supporting Q League, now do you? What irks me most about MQM is their unwavering loyalty to their Quaid-e-Tehreek and their arrogance with which they claim the city. No matter what, I cannot seem to isolate their violent past from their current blameless demeanor. The incidents of May 12, 2007 showed us the depths to which this party could stoop to and there was no way I could bring myself to endorse the same people who were responsible for whatever happened that day.

Then, there’s the PPP, that champion of people’s right, the so called messiah for the poor and the downtrodden. Do I even need to reiterate my stance? I’ve already ranted enough about them and their deceased leader (May she rest in peace) here, here and here. Nonetheless, I agree with their panel of economists. Maybe it’s just confirmation bias on my part, but this analysis by Qaiser Bengali speaks volumes about the disarray that the former Financial cum Prime Minister (sadly also an IBA graduate) has left Pakistan’s economy in. Despite agreeing to their economic manifesto, I cannot place my trust in the current leadership of the party. I’m willing to ignore the fun and frolicking of the famous Facebooker but it’s his father holding the reigns of my country that I have reservations against. Voting for them would have been synonymous to breaking 10% off the National Exchequer pie with my own hands and offering it to the fishy feudal.

That I have nothing to say about the brothers Sharif is not silent support for the duo and their accomplices but a lack of understanding of the factors that rendered the two incapable of improving anything in this country in their earlier tenures in office.

I did have the option of voting for an independent candidate, but I have strongly resolved to not take any action, to the best of my ability, that is both logically reasonable and socially responsible. Voting for a candidate of whose background I knew nothing about would have been contrary to that belief.

The polls have turned out fairer than expected. Why I am not enthusiastic about the re-emerging of the previous decade’s politicians hardly requires an explanation. Yet, I can still feel winds of change.

Here’s to hoping Pakistan can finally set its act straight…

I realised today that maybe one of the reasons I’ve stopped writing here is an unconscious attempt to erase the present from my memory to-be. Nonetheless, I’m sure, when I will be reminded of this time, I will be amused at my own foolish misery.

Ahhh.. if only I could do that now. Look at my present in retrospect. Everyone else wants a glimpse of the future. I don’t. I want a glimpse of the present from a future perspective. Hindsight into the present would be such a blessing. If only everyone knew the consequences of their actions. One of my favourite lines from Mohsin Hamid’s Mothsmoke are the words of the character ‘Mumtaz’:

No one believes in consequences anymore.

I shudder at the accuracy of that line. It is just as true for me as it is for a number of people I observe around me.

I believe in Karma. I believe that everything has a equal and opposite reaction. Yet I fail to understand how a man who has been forced by circumstances to take the plunge is held accountable for the consequences of his actions. That’s the problem with one ill intention or ill deed. It sets into motion a perpetual cycle of ill deeds. It’s like ‘Pay it Forward’ with a favor replaced by a disservice. Just as effective at changing the world as paying forward a favor, just less unconscious a decision.

I know I’m not making sense. I told you I’ve lost the ability to express my self. In words or otherwise. I use the word ‘lost’ coz I know I once had it. I once had a lot of things I don’t have now. And the last sentence just reminded me of my insistence at looking at everything in retrospect. If not the present, I will dwell in the past.

I i realised today that maybe one of the reasons I’ve stopped writing here is an unconscious attempt to erase the present from my memory to-be. Nonetheless, I’m sure, when I will be reminded me of this time, I will be amused at my own foolish misery.

Ahhh.. if only I could do that now. Look at my present in retrospect. Everyone else wants a glimpse of the future. I don’t. I want a glimpse of the present from a future perspective. Hindsight into the present would be such a blessing. If only everyone knew the consequences of their actions. One of my favourite lines from Mohsin Hamid’s Mothsmoke are the words of the character ‘Mumtaz’:

No one believes in consequences anymore.

I shudder at the accuracy of that line. It is just as true for me as it is for a number of people I observe around me.

I believe in Karma. I believe that everything has a equal and opposite reaction. Yet I fail to understand how a man who has been forced by circumstances to take the plunge is held accountable for the consequences of his actions. That’s the problem with one ill intention or ill deed. It sets into motion a perpetual cycle of ill deeds. It’s like ‘Pay it Forward’ with a favor replaced by a disservice. Just as effective at changing the world as paying forward a favor, just less unconscious a decision.

I know I’m not making sense. I told you I’ve lost the ability to express my self. In words o otherwise. I use the word ‘lost’ coz I know I once had it. I once had a lot of things I don’t have now. And the last sentence just reminded me of my insistence at looking at everything in retrospect. If not the present, I will dwell in the past.

somewhere along the way, i lost words.

there are images in my mind that i wish to give shape on paper but my limited abilities in the domain of anything artistic render me incapable of doing so..