SiD’s Sphere!!

books have played a very important role in making me who i am. almost very book i’ve read has left a lastin mark on some aspect of my personality. n the last 3 books have not been any different. but what is different how the seemingly unconnected and unrelated books have started off by addressing the same strand of thought where the last book ended.

The first in this series was Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoevsky. The title is self explanatory. It is an exhaustive narrative of a man who believed that certain people have the right to kill and he was one of those exceptional cases. but following the murder, the writer tediously describes the delirious torture he goes through at the hands of his exacting conscience. the book thus tried to convey the idea that the mental suffering that a criminal undergoes following his crime is retribution enough for him. But in most psychological struggles, that represent a spiritual drama between the protests of conscience and the justifications of reason, reason overpowers the conscience as that is the only way his sanity can remain intact. and then there are cases when a man doesn’t even realize that his actions have trespassed the moral and ethical limits set by society. this is an issue that the book fails to acknowledge.

i would have overlooked it too, had the next book i started readin wasn’t John Grisham’s The Chamber. The book was an eye-opener. I’d read about the Ku Klux Klan and their activities in Malcolm X’s autobiography but the gruesome nature of their terror hadn’t dawned upon me then. These were men who did not repent their deeds- the murders, the lynchings,..It was only after years of conviction and a few days away from the gas chamber that Sam Cayhall started regretting his action and even then one was forced to ask himself while reading, if the man really deserved to die.

But again, what was more baffling was the man Sam Cayhall had apparently attacked- a Jew. Living in Pakistan, you’re inculcated that Jews control the world and simply put are bad people. But back in the 60s, a Jew was attacked by a white man, and then the same man continued to resent his Jewish law firm representing him. Really? Wasn’t the entire Western World on the Jews’ side? Apparently not. A startling revelation that recurred in the next book- The Class by Erich Segal.

One of the members of the class was a Jew whose parents had attempted to assimilate with the mainstream society by converting to Utilitarianism. What?? Jews were prejudiced against at one point in American History? During the course of the book, a Jew with an identity crisis, makes his way to Israel and discover his roots. For the first time in my life, I saw Jews as victims. Even havin read Anne Frank. Even after nightmares of the concentration camps…

I wish I could find a book now that answers the questions swirling in my head now? Why do the Palestinians have to pay for all the injustices against the Jews? In greater interest of everyone and for the sake of peace, why can’t the big Arab egos sacrifice the sacred land to the Israelis? Why does USA have to interfere in every God damned thing? During The Class’s 25th Reunion, a couple asked one of the members of the class who had become the Assistant Secretary of State by then, if his conscience let him sleep at night after having sent so many American soldiers to die in Vietnam for no reason. George Keller, had committed suicide before the end of the Reunion Week. The Americans haven’t learned from history. Hundreds of American soldiers continue to die in Iraq. The casualties are still far greater than just those American soldiers. What for? Who gains and what?

Last year’s Murder Video was not only an instant hit at the Dinner but also got featured on Karachi Metroblogs, albeit for the wrong reasons. This year, the producer was hoping for an overwhelming response at the dinner. However, it seems to me that Murphy’s Law could be aptly renamed to Nabeel’s law.

Finally, presenting to everyone…The Second Murder

There are some who feel that we’ve been institutionalized, and we’ve lost whatever little creativity we had when we first came in. but the above production is just one example of how multi talented the whole bunch is. Remarkable direction and acting, meticulous photography, with blood-curdling sound effects!
What you see above is future CEOs and COOs, the movers and shakers of the next decade being juvenile and delinquent..

Starring: Saad Haleem
Ali Wasti
Moiz-ul-Haq
Editing: Sidrat Asim
Direction: Saad Raza
Nabeel Shakeel
Producer: Nabeel Shakeel

Last year’s Murder Video was not only an instant hit at the Dinner but also got featured on Karachi Metroblogs, albeit for the wrong reasons. This year, the producer was hoping for an overwhelming response at the dinner. However, it seems to me that Murphy’s Law could be aptly renamed to Nabeel’s law.

Finally, presenting to everyone…The Second Murder

There are some who feel that we’ve been institutionalized, and we’ve lost whatever little creativity we had when we first came in. but the above production is just one example of how multi talented the whole bunch is. Remarkable direction and acting, meticulous photography, with blood-curdling sound effects!
What you see above is future CEOs and COOs, the movers and shakers of the next decade being juvenile and delinquent..

Starring: Saad Haleem
Ali Wasti
Moiz-ul-Haq
Editing: Sidrat Asim
Direction: Saad Raza
Nabeel Shakeel
Producer: Nabeel Shakeel

W200i isn’t a good camera but I love this picture I was able to take this Saturday on my visit to Tando Adam. The blistering heat was unbearable but the experience of witnessing rural life was a treat. Click here for more pictures I took on the trip.

it disgusts me how much hate I carry around in my heart. hate, so intense, that a few words can trigger an overwhelming urge to strike out or swear. but, i guess, it is the lack of catharsis itself that breeds more hate.

i don’t remember expressing anger or lashing out in a long long time. the only witness to my anger are my broken glasses and now i’m frightened by the transformation of my anger at certain people into hatred directed at completely unrelated individuals. i don’t like myself for that. i don’t want to hate yet it is such an involuntary expression, that i can’t seem to do anything about it. a couple o weeks ago, there was slight that i may yet rise above all my disappointments and my insecurities and my heartaches but only a single let-down has proven to be too much for my frail and i’ve realised that i have a long way to go before i can feel self-sufficient. before i can stop being a parasite. before i can step out of the shadows.

and i re-iterate

sidrat asim is neither cypress nor oak
a parasite in a deciduous cloak